What Makes Mediation Work?

It's a question of attitude, isn't it? If a couple comes to mediation with the attitude that it's either 'my way or the highway', they are not going to succeed in reaching their alleged goals. So why would anyone sabotage the process that seeks to get them toward their goals? Partly, it's fear. Call it fear of flying, because in mediation each participant takes responsibility for their own actions, offers, and acceptances. If it turns out you choose the wrong action, or accept a proposal that doesn't work out, you really have no one to blame but yourself. I've met a number of people who just couldn't handle mediation, because they were terrified of taking responsibility for making decisions in the divorce process. Some actively sought to end the session and return to court, because it felt safer to hide in the decisions of a judge. If something didn't turn out the way they wanted it to, they could toss the blame onto the court and leave th