Ray Patterson Mediation

Finding Your 18th Camel


Years ago, a merchant know for his sagacity was traveling through the desert to his home town. He chanced upon an oasis where other travellers had gathered and turned his camel toward it, in order that the beast might be watered and fed. Upon arrival, however, he found the other travellers were in a frenzied state. It turned out that they were members of the same family, returning from burying the patriarch. This sheik had three sons, and it was clear that the eldest was angry at the youngest two and they were angry in turn with each other.

When the merchant enquired what was going on, one of the late sheik’s wives told him that the sons had only just heard what was in their father’s will. The man’s fortune consisted of the camels tied up at the oasis, and he had apportioned them thusly: half of the camels were to go to the eldest son, a third to the middle boy, and a ninth of them to the youngest (who was not his father’s favorite.)

Unfortunately, the old sheik o…

Almost everyone has been in a painful or sorrowful situation when a friend, a relative, perhaps a clergy member has offered consolation by reminding the person suffering that, when one door closes another one opens. It's meant to offer solace and to remind people going through hard times that there will be better opportunities and experiences some time in the future.

Have you had that said to you? If so, I'd bet good money that the person trying to console you did not tell you the rest of the quotation. I never heard it, and I've seen quite a few winters. Attributed allegedly to the inventor of the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell, the complete quote goes like this:
When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us. So if you're longing disconsolately for what is gone or lost, you could easily completely ignore the new opportunities being offered to you at the same time. What …

Your marriage may have gradually fallen apart, with the both of you going in different directions at different speeds. Or your relationship exploded with the discovery of an unacceptable indiscretion. Maybe you did the whole routine: had kids, raised them, and saw them off on their own lives. Then you both looked around at your own situation and decided it was time to call it quits. For whatever reason, you and your soon-to-be ex are now faced with disentangling your finances, friends, furniture, and fixtures from 'ours' to 'yours' and 'mine'.

It is not unreasonable to shudder at the task ahead. But take heart! Help is available in the guise of a mediator. More specifically, a divorce mediator. Drilling down further, a facilitative divorce mediator. A neutral person to assist you in decoupling with the least amount of pain and panic. You would think couples would run to find the mediation office.

A pity they don't. Too often the first thought that occurs t…

Ray Patterson, a member of Las Vegas Mediation and the Nevada Mediation Group, and formerly on the faculty of the William S. Boyd School of Law at UNLV, is proud to announce the opening of his own mediation practice at 8550 S Pecos Road (south of Sunset) in Las Vegas. As he did when he founded and directed the Strasser Mediation Clinic at the law school, Ray is specializing in family law mediation, focusing his practice on divorcing couples (straight/gay/lesbian/trans), post-divorce matters affecting former relationship partners, and assisting never-married people find common ground in forming parenting plans, vacation/holiday schedules, and custody and visitation issues when children are involved.